Cross-Examination

"So what does the other old guy say?" asked Ben, sitting down across from Dan.

"I'm doing well thanks," Dan said, "how are you?"

"Life is good," said Ben.  "It's spring outside.  I'm getting a beer."

Dan went back to his papers until his friend returned.

"So our old man friend Adam," said Ben, sitting down with two beers.

"You remembered," said Dan, taking one of the beers.  

"Of course," said Ben, taking the beer back.

"What's his last name?" said Dan, pulling the beer towards him again.

Ben considered for a moment.

"So our old man Adam," he resumed, without reaching for the beer again.  

"Carter," said Dan.

"Carter," said Ben. "He has a neighbor in the hospital."

"Shared room," said Dan.  

"He's glad he still gets the window seat," said Ben. 

"So to speak," said Dan.

"And his neighbor talks a lot," said Ben, "but Carter can't make out the words."

"Until one day," said Dan.

"Proceed," said Ben.

Dan put on his backpack.

Ben smiled.  "Really?" he said.

Dan smirked and shrugged the bag off.

"Nah, just messing with you," he said.  He took another drink of beer.

"His neighbor speaks," he said, setting his glass back down.  "He says, 'Are you a ghost?'"

"And what does old Adam say?" asked Ben.

"This will probably be easier," said Dan, "if you don't interrupt me."

"You paused," said Ben.

"It was dramatic," said Dan.

"Anyway," said Ben.

"Adam," resumed Dan, "in a fit of cleverness, says, 'What?'  And his neighbor says, 'are you a ghost?'"

"Quick question," said Ben.

"Oh my god," said Dan.

"Are you going to tell this whole thing in the present tense?" Ben said.

"I don't know," said Dan.  "I suppose so, I hadn't noticed."

"I thought you hated the present tense," said Ben.

"Usually I do," said Dan.  "Like I said, if I was using it, I hadn't noticed."

"Are you going to write it in the present tense when we're done?" asked Ben.

"I'm putting on my backpack again," said Dan.

"What does Adam say," said Ben.  "I won't interrupt again."

"He says he's not a ghost," said Dan.  "He lies back, and wonders what's wrong with his neighbor's head, and looks out the window again."

"'How do you know?' asks his neighbor.  Our old man sits up again and asks him to repeat himself, and his neighbor repeats the question.

"'Because I have to go to the bathroom,' our old man says, and once again considers the matter closed.'"

"Colorful," said Ben.

"If I may," said Dan.  He paused, finished his beer, and set his glass down.  Ben rose and returned shortly with two more.  It was the middle of the afternoon, the place was almost empty.

"A little time passes,” Dan said, “our old man looks out the window at the leaves.  After a while, he hears a creaking sort of breathing sound, and when he looks over he sees his neighbor, in a dark plaid dressing gown, lowering himself steadily into the chair at his bedside.’

“’What do you want?’ he asks.  “I’m tired and I want to rest.’

“‘You hardly ever sleep,’ says his neighbor, ‘I’ve noticed.’  Our old man doesn’t much like this, but he doesn’t argue. 

“’What do you want?’ he asks again.’

“‘No one ever comes to visit you,’ says the old neighbor.

“‘So what?’ asks our man.

“‘No one ever comes to visit me either,” says the old neighbor.

“‘I’m very sorry,’ says our man, looking back out the window again.

“‘So I just thought,’ says the old neighbor, ‘that I’d come over and visit you myself.’”

“How touching,” interrupted Ben.  “Do they become friends?”

Dan placed his head un-gently on the tabletop in front of him.

“Is that a yes?” asked Ben.

“I’ve never understood people,” Dan said, into the tabletop, “who ask questions about stories they’re engaged with.”

“You’ve never done it?” said Ben.

Dan sat up and thought about it.

“Not that I recall,” he said.  “But usually I’m reading something written down.”

“That’s not true,” said Ben.  “The last time we watched a movie you were asking me questions every five minutes.”

“When did you and I watch a movie?” said Dan.

“Last year sometime,” said Ben, “we watched Seven Samurai.”

“Good movie,” said Dan.

“It is,” said Ben.  “That’s why we watched it.”

“Wait,” said Dan.  “I remember now, you insisted that I watch that movie, you’d seen it before.”

“Right,” said Ben.  “And you kept asking me what happened next, and all about what was really going on.”

“Well, you’d seen it before,” said Dan.  “I hadn’t.”

“How is that different from what you were talking about just now?” asked Ben.

“People asking questions during the story?” said Dan.

“Exactly,” said Ben.

“For one thing,” said Dan, “you didn’t make Seven Samurai, you just recommended it.”

“Anyone would,” said Ben.

“And another thing,” said Dan, “I’m telling you this story right now.”

“So?” said Ben.

“So I’m going to tell you presently,” said Dan, “whether or not they become friends, if you’ll just wait.”

“You were going to say, ‘and then they became friends?’” said Ben.

“Of course not,” said Dan.  “Who just says things like that?  I was building the scene, it’s called pacing.”

“You were taking your time,” said Ben, deliberately goading his friend now.

“I was moving right along,” said Dan.  “I didn’t get them bogged down in side conversation, I didn’t digress into pointless backstory, I didn’t give lengthy descriptions of how the old men looked, or how they moved their hands, or how the room looked, or anything irrelevant.”

“There was some mention of a plaid dressing gown,” said Ben.

“That was so you’d have an idea,” said Dan.  “It was emotionally significant.”

“How so?” said Ben.

“Because if the neighbor were just in his hospital gown,” said Dan, “you’d think he’d gone out of his mind or something.”

Ben made a thoughtful face of acknowledgement and took a drink of beer.

“I’m just saying,” he said, “that you talked during the movie.”

“It’s not the same thing,” said Dan, “but I’m sorry if I distracted you.  Meanwhile, I’ve completely forgotten where I was, you’ve got me chasing bandits through the black-and-white woods.”

“Are the old men going to become friends or not,” said Ben.

“That’s not where I was,” said Dan, almost pulling his hair in frustration.  “That’s just how you interrupted me.”

“The neighbor said,” said Ben, “that he would visit with our old man, since neither of them had anyone else.”

“Right,” said Dan.  “He says that.  And our old man says nothing.”

“Nothing?” said Ben.

“He doesn’t answer,” said Dan “he just keeps looking out the window, and pretending like he didn’t hear him.”

“What does the neighbor say next?” asked Ben.

“Am I telling this story now, or are we just talking about it?” said Dan.

Just as Ben opened his mouth to reply, the smoke alarm at the back of the building suddenly went off.