A few weeks ago, I let go of an old friend of mine. We'd been through a lot together, but sadly the time had come to say goodbye.
It came together in the fall of 2012 for a Halloween costume, together with goggles, knee and elbow pads, the standard black-and-yellow striped trap, and the essential insignia-bedecked overalls.
It was basically a pair of large boxes, one from an amazon shipment and one from a box fan, that I cut and glued together with some added boxes and twists in the surface for tubes and wiring, a pair of straps rigged to fit on the user's back, and holes cut out for eventual lights.
Once I had the box together I fitted be tubes (cable insulation tubing to look like actual cables) in place, then applied the paint in a few layers, and then colored the tubes by wrapping them in electrical tape and glued them down as well. I rigged a holster for the handheld component out of a few neodymium magnets and an old soup can.
I taped a self-contained strip of Christmas lights running in a pair of C batteries on the interior, with the pack/switch part hidden on side. To add some color I applied sharpie ink to a few empty DayQuil capsule wrappers and taped those inside the light sockets.
You can sort of see the lights in this photo. Anyway there was another one built into the hand-held part.
The whole process happened over a couple of weekends and one all-nighter, probably taking up between 20 and 25 hours total work. At certain points it seemed like I'd never get it all done in time, especially the straps and the hand-held component, which was trickier than the pack itself.
It came together pretty well!
Sadly though, nothing is forever. Once the holiday was past and new projects came in, the old pack spent most of its time in the storage room, either getting looked at fondly when I had to out something else away or grumblingly shoved aside if I needed to take something out. One of the problems with being a taller person is the high volume needed for costume storage. It came out briefly when my brother, and even bigger Ghostbusters than I if possible, came to visit and demanded a try-on.
But otherwise, it mostly sat unused, and as with all things, it was not to be forever.
When it came time to move on from our apartment, I started to realize not everything could come with us. We made three or four runs to Good Will in total, gave things away to family, and left a lot of thoroughly used (and not so thoroughly used) stuff on the curb. Eventually, it became clear that the pack was a little too big and unwieldy to make the cut, and should be let go. My wife said I could keep it if I wanted to, but to be honest the glue wasn't holding up as well as I'd have liked in places, and it had become sort of beaten-up from its time floating on the piles in storage. I knew it was time.
Here's the last photo before I left for work that morning; when I came home of course it was gone.
It was sad saying goodbye, but you can't have everything. We're moving in order to afford a house one day, where hopefully there'll be room for storing and maintaining lots of older projects that have value. But there'd be little value in letting the artifact slow us down when it was the sentiment, a separate thing, that was giving us pause.
In the end it's the memory that matters, not the five pounds of cardboard, plastic, paint, and glue. When I need one, I can make another proton pack, and it'll be easier and smarter for the experience of making the first one.
And I'll always have the Halloween we spent together.
Projects are funny things. When you're in the middle of one, the world seems a little bit timeless. Or rather, the necessary steps of the project itself becomes the basic unit of time in a funny way, so that the clock seems to be leaping ahead of its own volition, and you can't be bothered to look at it. But then time runs out, and whether you've finished everything or not, you've got to make the most of what you were able to do.
I could have done more on my proton pack. I was trying, right up to the buzzer, to figure out how to make it make the "kaswhiiiiIIIIN" noise from the movie when it was switched on. I'd planned on improving the back straps and the magnet holster, and making a somewhat smaller trap that would hook on the side. The list goes on.
But sooner or later, you'll have to put it aside. Time always runs out, other projects come in, and you have to learn to be okay with how things are.
What matters is taking the ideas you're able to get together making the most out of each project with the time you have.
Because sooner or later, like it or not, it will all eventually pass by, and you will move on without it.
Plus, I kept the goggles. And pads, hand-held part, the trap, and the flight suit, so I've got that going for me.
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